I was saved about 12-13yrs ago as a middle schooler. (However, don't look at the time I have been a Christian, because there is no seniority for those who are saved. You can have people who become saved and 6 months later have more understanding and more love towards God than someone who has been saved much longer)

The reason I wrote that is because after I was saved, I sadly admit that I was somewhat angry towards God. I was like the person Tony Evans, ( a preacher from Texas) says: "You want the degree from God's school, but you do not want to pay the tuition.

I knew as head knowledge that God had saved me, but now to know as a middle schooler, that I was now being called to live a life of utmost devotion to God alone, loving Him above and beyond all other things was something that I was not prepared to do yet.

It's sad now, but I remember thinking: 'Yeah, I know that Jesus died for me and suffered for that, but now I have to suffer for the rest of my life because of that one act that Jesus did for me."

How sad and pathetic were my thoughts. But glory to God that He slowly began to work in my heart and open my heart to my true depravity and condition.

I remember reading The Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney. In it, he states how when people casually ask him how he is doing, he replies with "better off than I deserve."
He has and continually saturates his mind with the knowledge that he is a sinner who was deserving sin, but has been saved by grace.

Romans 3:21-23 "But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22 This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. there is no difference, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. 25God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement....

How sweet and marvelous these words are to me now! In seeing what God has done for us. How he has cancelled all of our debts and not only that but now given us the righteousness that truly belongs to Jesus, not us. We have now become children of God!

I have stated before that inscribed on my wedding band is 1 John 4:16 "We love because He first loved us."

My wife and I thought that this was appropriate because any goodness, love, tenderness, mercy, care, whatever else, is only possible because of the love and mercy that God shows us.

The more we see how much God has done for us, the more it stimulates a cry of utmost joy from our lips. I use this as my spiritual gage. If I am at church and not moved by the words and songs, then there is something deep within my heart that needs changing.

The fact that we will be in heaven forever makes sense. For it will take forever to sing to God all the praise glory and honor that He deserves! Thank-you God for all that you have done for us and all that you continue to do for us. May your eyes be opened to it as well. Amen.